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Category Archives: Writings

I’m moving

On Christmas day I received a surprise gift from WordPress.com, a suspension of my blog.  Yep, a suspension!  I logged in like usual to work on some drafts and double check what I already had and this message popped up at the top:

“Warning: We have a concern about some of the content on your blog. Please click here to contact us as soon as possible to resolve the issue and re-enable posting.”

The click here was a generic email back to wordpress.com.  No explanation, no nothing.  So I emailed and then freaked out a bit.  What did I do?  I sat and waited.  No response.  12 hours later, no response.  I checked the forums.  It seems this had happened to a ton of people, but no real explanations were given.  I waited some more and then called J freaking out.  He calmed me down and after checking into it, decided that it was time for me to move.  So he started the process.  Bought a domain name, got new emails, hosted on our server, and transfered almost everything into the new system.  I dove in and started to piece things back together.  99% of what I had here is now there.  I was setting myself up to thinking that I would have to start from scratch, but my lovely knows things…  hee hee.  So I got a new blog.

After two silent days, I finally received an email from WordPress.com.

We currently need to limit the number of scheduled posts per WordPress.com site, and your site has exceeded more than 100 of these. Can you please edit your posts and limit those currently scheduled to a more reasonable number (less than 100)? Placing posts in draft status and scheduling/publishing them later is a workable, alternate method. An automatic system check is now in place for this. Our sincere apologies for any inconvenience.

Really WordPress, what the hell?  You change something and instead of mentioning it or warning, you just suspend my blog.  Of course, I sent this to J and he thought it was just absolutely ridiculous.  So we are sticking with moving to my own domain.  There may be a few posts still on here as I signed up for some giveaways in January and the other blogs already have address, but I will be primarily checking my new blog…  Come follow me over there (It’s still a little dusty, but will be fixed soon)

Ms. Buff’s Blog

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2012 in Writings

 

Book of Lists (I’m Late per Usual)

I ran across this idea on At Random, I followed her links to Kapachino’s original post:

Because I’m suuuper original I’m calling it the Book of Lists because that is essentially what it will be. Just get yourself a book – make a minibook out of chipboard and binder rings like I did or grab a blank journal, a spiral notebook, scrapbook, anything of the sort – make sure it has some empty pages, and you’re ready to go.

Every month there will be a topic for a list, and the object is to craft it on a blank page, take a photo of your list, then blog it. You can get elaborate scrapbook-style, or even jot it down with your favorite pen. If you want, you don’t even have to make a book and you can just blog about the list topic (even though then it’s not really a book of lists, but that’s cool). My style is somewhere in the middle.

I just absolutely love this idea.  I’m a crafter.  I love lists.  Why not combine the two into a new project?  Sounds like the perfect plan for me.  Unfortunately I didn’t get to the posts until today…  The holidays have been rough on my blog reading.  At any rate, I’m jumping in.  I have a ton of journals and notebooks lying around the office.  I grabbed one, personalized it and started on my journey.  Here’s the notebook:

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I chose a simple composition notebook with some pretty stripes.  Then I dove into my crafting supplies for some great stickers to add a title.  Simple but with a bit of flare, very me…

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And now on to December’s list: wish list…  

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I didn’t go overboard with stuff, but I just made a simple list of 17 things I am wishing for right now.  Some are creature comforts and some are more life related.  I think this sums me up nicely.

Next month: We’ll be posting on January 7 and the topic is “looking forward.” That could mean what you’re looking forward to, your goals for the year, or however else you interpret it.

 
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Posted by on December 4, 2012 in Books, Crafting, Life, Writings

 

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In library paradise

I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library. — Jorge Luis Borges

You know the library in Disney’s Beauty and the Beast?  Yeah, that’s heaven to me.  I’ve always dreamed of living in a house just big enough for a proper library room.  A room filled floor to ceiling with bookcases, a comfy leather chair with ottoman, a small side table with reading lamp (just big enough for a cup of tea), and possibly a fireplace. That is heaven to me. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.  I have an iPad.  I am trying to read more digital books (save space and for travel purposes), and yet I keep going back to the old physical library.  I still want that room.  I fear that the old libraries of the past will slowly disappear in our newly digital world.  I don’t want to lose that comfort, that little piece of paradise in our chaotic lives.

From Beautiful Libraries

 
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Posted by on November 16, 2012 in Books, Writings

 

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I’m a book discriminator…

“Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” — PJ O’Rourke

I have a confession to make…  I discriminate based on books.  I always check out what others are reading.  And I make conclusions about who they are based off of those books.  I’m not proud of this fact, and yet I continue to do it.

You want an example?  The easiest one is Fifty Shades of Grey…  My first thoughts when seeing a woman reading this (because I’ve never seen a man reading it): she doesn’t actually read.  It’s a harsh statement.  I don’t think those people actually read the same way I don’t think members of Oprah’s book club read.  For them it’s a social activity   It’s a way for them to be part of the “cool” club.  They don’t read for the love the story or the author.  My second thought: she doesn’t have a healthy sexual relationship.  The sex depicted in the book is gross (and this coming from someone who likes sex and reading erotica).  The sex is bondage, but the worst form.  It’s one step away from rape and I just cannot find that sexy at all.  My third thought: how can she read beyond the typos?  Ugh! Typos annoy the crap out of me.  I just paid X amount of dollars for a published author.  I expect it to be edited at least for typos.  I would really like if it was edited for content as well.  But no…

My example got kind of ranty, but that’s the train of thought that rolls through my brain when I see someone reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  I have many other examples of my book snobbery.  Readers of science fiction: lonely.  Readers of literary fiction: snobs.  Readers of young adult (but are adults): wannabe teenagers.

Why do I have all these thoughts?  I read all these different genres (except  Fifty Shades).  I enjoy these different genres.  I love reading a variety of types of books by a variety of authors.  And yet, I judge others by their reading choices.  I want to change.  I want to a equal opportunity acceptor of reading habits.  I want to not see the book, but see the person.  End personal plea.  Now let me go and read my fluffy romances with the rest of the housewives…

 
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Posted by on November 13, 2012 in Books, Writings

 

Sit Down and Write 2

From Stories Inside:

This write-a-thon is for any writing you need to get done.  If you’re working on a novel and, perhaps, participating in NaNoWriMo next month (like me–buddy up with me–thetruebookaddict), it’s for you.  If you have a ton of reviews to write coming off of (or during) the many read-a-thons that are always going on, this is perfect for you.  Any writing you need to get done…this is the thon to really buckle down.  I’m not going to be hosting any mini-challenges, but I will have check-in linkies posted every few days, if you are so inclined to share your progress.  You can link to your reviews or your progress posts.  Our Twitter hashtag is #sitdownwrite  If you’re game for a couple Twitter chats, let me know in the comments.

Due to input from participants last time, the write-a-thon will now run for two weeks!  Starting and end times are the usual:  Monday (11/12) 12:01am CST until Sunday (11/25) 11:59pm CST.


I just got to this in my GoogleReader and I am ready to join!  Last year, I tried NaNoWriMo and it didn’t go so well.  Instead of the pressure of 50,000 words in a month for one piece, I am going to focus on short creative writing exercises.  I will be posting some of my pieces here on the blog.  These also count towards my Day Zero Project: Finish 100 Creative Writing Prompts.  I’m definitely not expecting to finish all 100, but I want to get a chunk done and get the creative juices flowing.

 
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Posted by on November 11, 2012 in Day Zero Project, Writings

 

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Last of the Questions

As part of my Day Zero Project, I am answering “50 Questions to Free Your Mind” (Google it).   I had originally thought to do these in my personal journal, but then I thought, why not put them on my blog.  So get ready for some rambling answers.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Here’s my post for questions #1-5.  And here for questions #6-10.  And here for questions #11-20. And here for questions #21-26.  And here for questions #27-34.  And here for questions #35-41.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? 

No.  Being attractive or famous would not necessarily increase my quality of life.  I would rather have those ten year to increase my quality of life and enjoy life.  We have to strive to be happy in our lives the way they are.  We can aspire to change things, but obviously certain things are out of our control.  Having a fairy tale fantasy doesn’t help focus on your current life.  I want to think about every day as a chance to enjoy life.  Better to back to enjoying it…

43. What is the difference between beling alive and truly living? 

Wow.  I didn’t read this question before writing the previous answer.  I think it goes back to the idea of striving for better life every day and being complacent.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

Now.  Too much time hemming and hawing gets you nowhere.  You don’t get rewards or punishments not trying.  Instead you only become stagnant.  Get up and do something now.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Uncertainty is always scary.  We are afraid to make a mistake because it is a mistake.  Instead, we should think of mistakes are learning tools.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

Dance and sing in the streets.  Wear whatever I happen to throw on in the morning (I have certain clothing rules).  Say what’s on my mind.

47. When was the last time you notied the sound of your own breathing?

Last night while trying to fall asleep.  This cough has created some breathing issues especially at night.  The sound was a bit more of a wheezing than regular breathing.

48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

My boys, J, reading, swimming pools, sunshine…  I think so.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

No.  I try to keep a good recollection of daily events, but many days fall into a pretty regular routine.  Neuroscientists know that our memories like the unusual.  We tend to remember big impact events (good or bad).  Waking up, eating, showering, going to work, etc, bed time is a routine but not very memorable.

50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I like to think I am making decisions, but I also have considerations of other people dependent or directly connected to me.  No person makes a decision completely on their own.

 
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Posted by on September 21, 2012 in Day Zero Project, Writings

 

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Spilling my guts…

As part of my Day Zero Project, I am answering “50 Questions to Free Your Mind” (Google it).   I had originally thought to do these in my personal journal, but then I thought, why not put them on my blog.  So get ready for some rambling answers.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Here’s my post for questions #1-5.  And here for questions #6-10.  And here for questions #11-20. And here for questions #21-26.  And here for questions #27-34.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

Misconstrued need to be included.  Many religions have a “us” or “them” mentality that taken to extremes can lead to war.  Instead of a love and understanding approach they take a militant convert everyone approach.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

No.  Society collectively decides what is good and what is evil.  We generally adhere the standards, but of course there are those that deviate.  Thus, we have a societal system of promoting what is good and punishing those do what is evil.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

Considering that right now I’m unemployed, this doesn’t really apply.  Yet, let me answer as if I had a job.  No I would not quit my job.  First of all a million dollars really isn’t that much.  It could make life easier temproarily.  It could pay off debts/mortgages/loans.  If could provide some instant entertainment.  It could pay for future endeavors.  But a million dollars isn’t going to make you life-long no worries rich. Secondly, I have gotten super bored when not working.  I need something to occupy my time daily and help organize my life.  Left to my own devices, I blog and surf the web for hours a day.  (I’m actually working of two projects that could pay me for doing just that.)

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work that I enjoy doing.  I never minded the long hours of teaching as long as I was getting something out of it.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Yep.  Reading, housework, blogging, surfing, eating…  This is my life currently.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly beleived in?

Never?  I just don’t think I’ve ever really marched into the dark, the twilight maybe, the sunset definitely.  I think I would like to jump into the unknown with passion, but at the same time, I am a big scaredy cat.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

My children.  Although it would take most of the day to get there (damn non direct flights!)

 
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Posted by on August 31, 2012 in Day Zero Project, Writings

 

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Some personal time…

As part of my Day Zero Project, I am answering “50 Questions to Free Your Mind” (Google it).   I had originally thought to do these in my personal journal, but then I thought, why not put them on my blog.  So get ready for some rambling answers.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

Here’s my post for questions #1-5.  And here for questions #6-10.  And here for questions #11-20. And here for questions #21-26.

27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

No.  I meet way too many people that accept anything and everything without question.  Those people scare me.  They allow the status quo to continue without improvement.  Question everything.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Yes.  Although things have been improving.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

No.  I don’t remember.  2007 was a pretty decent year, nothing too bad happened.  Since then, there have been a few angry times that I still remember and are still a bit upset about.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

Probably Christmas Eves.  I love Christmas time full of lights, snow, presents, and awesome food.  I’m really looking forward to this Christmas.

31. At what time in your recent pas have you felt most passionate and alive?

I would have to say my time teaching.  I loved it, but man it was ton of work for little pay.  I can’t afford to regret my decisions, but I really do miss it.

32.  If not now, then when?

Hopefully the coming months will hold some great and passionate times.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Many many times.  I love having those psychic-like connections with people.  It is an amazing feeling of connection with fellow humans.


 
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Posted by on August 4, 2012 in Day Zero Project, Writings

 

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The Place That Bordered Death (Part 2)

I’ve decided to publish a my false start for NaNoWriMo…  This is a complete first draft.  I just want to get it out there on record.

Chapter 4

All three women had often wondered about their names and the connections (or disconnection) to themselves.  Families held a place of honor and power among the village, so it came as no surprise that Hestia found names very important.  What was weird was Lucy’s fascination.  The girl who never felt a connection to the village or her family, wanted her name to mean something.  And Kalliope acknowledged the importance of her name and yet tried to deny her given name.

Hestia came from a long line of strong Greek names.  Her mother was named Galene which meant “calm seas.”  It was said that on the day of Galene’s birth, the wind stopped blowing and the seas looked at still as glass.  This was after a week long rain with almost gale force winds which lashed at the fishing boats and the villa.  Galene’s birth was seen as a good omen as it came with the return to the calm.  Her mother, Athena, took her name from the famous goddess.  She ran the family with military precision.  Everyone was taken care of and loved, but from a distance.  And so Hestia beleived even at an early age that her name would determine who she would become.  Hestia, the goddess of the hearth and fire, became the center piece of the family.  She prided herself at nourishing the family’s hearts and bodies.  They gathered around her for warmth and comfort.  Her sister was named Amaltheia which means “to soothe.”  She took on the task of advice giver.  Together they made quite a pair in their youth.  Hestia continued to be the center of the family into her later years and finally into her bed.  The villa was still the epicenter of family and even village life.  Any who appeared on the doorstep were given a bowl of food and a listening ear for their troubles.  No one was turned.  And so Hestia was broken when her only daughter turned her back on the family.

Kalliope or the muse of epic poetry was given that specific name when she was a week old.  The story goes that she was silent at her birth and silent for the next six days.  But on the seventh day she made such beautiful sounds taht everyone thought she would grow up to have a beautiful enchanting voice.  In a way, she did, but not in the way everyone thought.  Kalliope could use her words to convince anyone of anything.  She was a smooth talker.  That was how she convinced the boy to take her with him to America.  Once, across the seas, Kalliope vowed to sever all connections to her family and village.  And so she changed her name to Kallie.  Never again would she answer to Kalliope.  It was too Greek, too old, too small.  Plus, she desparately wanted to fit in with the other young women in America.

When Kallie gave birth to a daughter, she wanted to give her a name that menat something, but not something Greek.  She looked through book after book for a name.  Finally when the baby was a month old, she stumbled upon a Peanuts cartoon and found the perfect name: Lucy.  Lucy, the English form of Latin Lucia which means “light” was perfect.  It was not a Greek name.  It was completely Anglicized, just how Kallie wanted to seem.

Lucy grew up having an English name, living an English life, wishing for something more.  She wanted an exotic name, some like Katerina or Marianna.  Lucy was so plain.  It said nothing about who she was.  Light… what was that supposed to mean?  Was she bright?  Did she bring goodness?  Nope.  She was just plain Lucy.  Every time she visited her grandmother, Hestia would lament that Lucy lacked a proper name.  Lucy wanted that proper name.  She wanted a proper place, even among the dirt and salt of the village.

Names.  Important to some, thrown away by others.  The women of the village prided themselves on their names.  Now to work on those lost souls…

 
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Posted by on February 2, 2012 in Writings

 

The Place That Bordered Death (Part 1)

I’ve decided to publish a my false start for NaNoWriMo…  This is a complete first draft.  I just want to get it out there on record.

Chapter 1

The blue green waters of the Mediterranean always reminded Lucy of a stained glass window. The brilliant colors. The way she could see through to the ruins below. It was like being in church admiring the windows. Unfortunately, she didn’t feel any connection to the place. Never mind that she was 100% Greek, she looked and felt something other. The light brown hair and blue eyes semmed to contradict the earthy people. Even her name didn’t fit the place. When has anyone ever met a Greek named Lucy. She was an anomaly in this beautiful rich place.

In fact, Lucy started to wonder why she was here in the first place…  Sure, it was her ancestral home.  Of course, her grandmother had lived her entire life in this very village. Her mother was born here, but then left for the promise of a life beyond the water and rocks.  Lucy had vacationed here many a summer, basking in the sun, watching the fish nibble her toes, imagining mermaids in the ruins, As a child she had loved the sense of the unknown just outside the villa.  But now, at 25 she was confused.  Shouldn’t she feel some connection to this place.  The dirt ran through her veins.  And yet, nothing.  She was a Greek, one of the oldest cultures still around, and yet she didn’t feel Greek.  She didn’t feel like anything. After spending hours sitting on the cliff, Lucy finally resigned herself that nothing was coming.  She rose and slowly walked back to the villa, ready to face the relatives.

The terra cotta walls were aged and crumbing, yet they stood guarding the little courtyard beyond.  Her grandmother always had red flowers all along the top of the wall.  With her sick, they were gone.  The wall looked naked witout the color.  Once Lucy opened the courtyard gate, she was assaulted with the usual sounds and smells of the villa.  Random snippets of conversation, much too loud for the occasion, but that was usual among the village residents.  The smell of roasting goat and some type of honeyed dessert wafted through the open windows.  The sounds and smells never seemed to change.  Her summer vacations were full of sounds and smells.  Lucy never seemed to be able to recall events just sensory experiences.  Maybe that was why there was no connection.  No real emotions were attached to the experiences.

Lucy hestitated before proceeding across the courtyard the thin door at the far end.  Did she really want to go in?  Did she really want to face the future?  Did she have the strength to face one particular person?  Lucy answered her own questions: no, no, and most definitely no.  Yet she had to.  Sooner or later.  And someone would be sent to find her sooner rather than later.  Better to confront her fears now while the sun still shone and the birds still circled overhead.  Lucy crossed the courtyard and pushed open the door.

Chapter 2

Kalliope hated this place.  The colors, the sounds, the smells, the dirt that seemed to get into everything.  But most of all, she hated the people.  Growing up she felt trapped in this little village.  Destined to marry the butcher’s son or the apothecary’s son or someone’s son, someone she had know all her life and despised.  Kalliope dreamed of tall buildings, crowds of people, exotic names and foods.  Instead, she was stuck in this tiny village forced to run errands for her grandparents, do the washing, attend the tiny church on Holy Days.  Until one day, she met a boy.  A boy from the city had come to tour the villages of the coutnry.  A boy with the same dreams as Kalliope.  She fell instantly in love.  Not with the boy but iwth the idea of the boy.  On the last night of his vacation, Kalliope packed a small bag and sneaked out of the villa through the courtyard and out to the road and the waiting truck.  She ran all the way to America with the boy. Once there he abandoned her and the infant for bigger dreams.  Kalliope had achieved her dream of getting out, but the reality wasn’t quite what she had had planned.  At least it was away from the wretcvhed existance in the village.  But now she was back.  Damn her mother for getting cancer.  Why couldn’t she have kept a secret until she died?  Or at least forgotten about Kalliope.  Such was not the case in her family.  She had to come back and so she did.  Grudgingly, she came.

Something even more horrorific than the village lay within the walls of the villa.  Kalliope  had to face her daughter, Lucy.  That fact could not be forgotten.  Resignedly Kalliope waited in the living room among loud relatives and heavy scents.  She waited until Lucy finally decided to cross the courtyard and open the door.

Chapter 3

Hestia  wasn’t so much as a domineering matriarch as a spirit guide.  At least she liked to think so.  She loved having the feeling of being in control, directing people to and fro on their life paths.  Unfortunately, the people she guided never quite felt like her presence and direction were good things.  They resisited the push.  But Hestia  never admited to being wrong or pushy to anyone.  And there lay her fatal flaw, the flaw that drove away a daughter and kept a a granddaughter at a distance.

Now both were coming home to the villa.  In reality, they had been guilt-tripped into making the journey.  Hestia refused to see it that way.  Her girls were coming home to reconnect to their Greek roots.  They were going to come and stay, and stay, and maybe marry one of the butcher’s sons or the apothecary’s grandsons.  Whoever was fine as long as he was Greek.

Hestia laid in the bed in the little bedroom right at the end of the house.  Her bedroom had been picked because the sunlight streamed in at all hours of the day and the sea breeze could be felt day and night.  Nevermind that sometimes it was bit warm and sometimes a bit cold.  Those were to be expected when in full exposure to the elements.  The point was to be closer to God and his creation.  In Hestia’s mind, Greece and especially this little village was the height of God’s perfect creation.  She couldn’t see why anyone would want to leave it.  To turn your back on perfection, now that was just crazy talk.

 
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Posted by on February 1, 2012 in Writings

 
 
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