“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” — Edmund Hillary
So I know. He actually conquered the mountain (Everest to be exact), but the idea holds true. Often times we get so bogged down in the little imaginary obstacles (the mountain) that we miss the real obstacles (ourselves). Something I need to remind myself of on a weekly basis at work or dealing with certain people. Keep the summit in the forefront. Nothing else matters.
The last few months have been tough challenging usual excruciating. I don’t want to go into specifics, but let’s just say it’s getting harder and harder every day to put on a happy smile and face the challenges. I’ve gained weight, lost sleep (insomnia is a great friend of mine), skin has broken out, and hair has fallen out. Stress has definitely taken a toll on my body. I have almost weekly migraines and more often tension headaches.
Lately I’ve had many conflicting plans. What’s the right choice? If I chose Option A, I have x consequences. If I chose Option B, I have a whole other set of x consequences. How do I weigh all the interests, consequences, and potentials outcomes (good and bad)? All the advice I’ve received conflicts. Some tell me Option A, some OptionB, and some other undetermined option. I really don’t know… All I know is that right now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. And neither one are moving anytime soon.
On a slighty happy side note, last night I received a package from Amazon. My first thought: am I buying things on Amazon and don’t remember? Nope, I haven’t been shopping in my sleep. J sent me an early Valentine’s Day present (at least I’m assuming, but considering he isn’t all that supportive of V-Day, don’t know and don’t care). It was exactly what I needed last night: chocolate. Dark chocolate. Dark chocolate with mint. Dark chocolate with caramel. Dark chocolate with raspberries. Heaven in a heart shaped tin!
Yesterday I had a free Redbox rental and the boys and I were going to be in for the night (single digits!), so I stopped. I got Nanny McPhee Returns for the boys. Great movie! Family fun and a good message. Plus Emma Thompson is just way awesome. Lovely cozy night with the boys. And then they went to bed.
I had got myself my own movie. I had wanted to see Going the Distance when it was in theaters, but never got around it. It just came out on video, so I thought, why not?
Turns out it was the worst movie choice ever. Not because of the movie itself. It was a fairly good movie. The characters were good, the plot well constrcted, and good visuals. It was the worst movie choice because it reminded me of my life. The long distance relationship… worst situation in life. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for awhile now (it’s really depressing to say a number). The plan was for me to move in the fall… last fall. However, that plan fell through (details are very frustrating) and it was pushed to Christmas. That plan fell through also. And now I’m still stuck in limbo and in a long distance relationship. And all this movie did was remind me of the all sadness. This just sucks. I won’t give away the ending, but the ending really doesn’t matter. The bulk of the movie just made me sad.
So I have to say… worst movie choice! And I need to go make a phone call. I miss somebody way too much.
“Advice is seldom welcome, and those who want it the most always like it the least.” — Lord Chesterfield
Lately, I have been given a lot of advice about my current situation. I am not going to go into any detail, but there are a lot of things going on that various people in my life want to know the current and my future path. And I must say, I am sick of the advice. I know all the people giving it are trying to be helpful. They all care and hope for the best with me, but it is tiresome. Over and over telling the same story and the same choices I have to make. Right now, I am stuck in a holding pattern. I cannot really do much, but that doesn’t stop people from telling me what I should be doing.
So here’s my response to everyone… there’s a plan, but I have to wait. When I know anything more, I will make sure you know. So I would appreciate not having to talk about it until then. I have a few people that I go to and actually solicit advice from. You know if you are one of those people. Otherwise, please let me be. Thank you.
Per aspera ad astra!
"Through difficulties to the stars"
Wading Through the Ocean of Life 